From: Mark
Subject: IUFO: ET Funny
Date: 8 Feb 1998 15:03:23 -0500
To: enzoab@ix.netcom.com
-> SearchNet's IUFO Mailing List
> S P A C E A L I E N ' S L O G B O O K
>
> *********************************************************
>
> 8:15 AM Leave asteroid for work.
>
> 9:00 AM Hover over cornfield on outskirts of
> small Midwestern town.
> Consider artistic doodles potential.
>
> 9:30 AM Land in backyard where housewife is
> hanging laundry. Silence
> barking dog with penetrating gaze.
>
> 10:00 AM Stun housewife with laser-gun or
> energy pulsating finger-tips.
> Levitate her body just long enough to be
> glimpsed by a passing motorist. Materialize the
> body inside spaceship. Remove internal organs;
> weigh, label and categorize. Return most, if not
> all, to the body. Erase all traces of surgery.
> Rematerialize housewife in backyard. Turn back
> time two hours. Bid enigmatic good-bye. Leave.
>
> 1:00 PM Visit once prestigious astronomer who
> everyone thinks has gone mad. Deliver pep talk.
> Leave him fist- sized fragments of an
> unidentifiable element.
>
> 2:15 PM Drop by Whitley Strieber's house, pick
> up royalty check from best seller, Communion.
>
> 3:00 PM It's Saturday; Beam Mulder psychic
> impressions where to go next.
>
> 3:20 PM Hover over southwestern desert.
>
> 3:30 PM Offer psychotic drifter a lift.
>
> 4:30 PM Pose for cover of "Weekly World News"
> with Pres. Clinton. Discuss ozone depletion,
> space travel, scandal evasion, future political
> endorsements.
> 6:30 PM Back at the asteroid. Introduce
> psychotic drifter to other aliens. Listen to
> Windham Hill.
> 9:00 PM Dinner. Eat drifter.
>
> 10:00 PM Wash antennae, brush eyeballs, peel off
> outer layer of skin. Beam cryptic message to
> NASA satellite. Shut down reactor and warp-phase
> integrator. Lights out.
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-> Posted by: Mark
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